Welcome ladies and gentleman to the third edition of the weekly webisodic spectacle, featuring the coolest cat this side of the Vegas strip, ‘Gnarly’ Nicky Laine, this is the Cabin of Cool!
The scene opens on a dusty lakeside path. The roar of motorboats can be heard in the distance. A golden sun spies down onto the pristine surface of the still water, spreading it’s warm reflection from shore to shore. In the distance, the towering white Hoover Dam can be distinguished against the canvass of red canyons and coves. Families and fishermen alike sprawl out around the the various picnic areas, testament to the beauty of the day. The camera turns to focus on a sign perched high on two wooden polls. Carved into soft, dark wood the moniker for this particular lake is read to be ‘Lake Mead’. Following the weathered pathway, flanked by native desert flora, we are brought to a structure laying at the end. A cabin. Slightly obscured by a red rock formation rising from the adjacent terrain, the unpainted beech wood hut sits atop the dusty landscape. A man can be seen sitting on the porchway, clad in a white tank top, blue beach shorts, bright green canvas shoes and his signature blue bandana. Swinging back his long blond hair and bringing a beer bottle to his lips, he takes a long drink. The sun glints off his mirrored sunglasses before he pulls them off, revealing his smiling eyes staring at the camera.
“Welcome ladies and gentlemen to my brand new, humble abode! I am your host from the coast, ‘Gnarly’ Nicky Laine and this is the Cabin of Cool!”
Nicky springs to his feet, spreading his arms out in a show-off fashion.
“As you can see, for the third week in a row, the Cabin of Cool is being broadcast from a different location. Well, I am proud to announce that the good people at NLW.com have funded the purchase of a permanent location for the raddest show in wrestling, right here on the waterside of Nevada’s own Lake Mead! And it is right here in Nevada that I made my in-ring debut last week on Roulette against ‘Big Stack’ Philip Kennedy. As all of you who were watching may have seen, it wasn’t the start I had hoped for. Not because I lost, but because I won without having to lift a finger. I didn’t bring my lucky surfboard all the way from Pasadena to watch me win by countout, but that’s how it turned out. But a win is a win and I’ll take it as a positive moving into the next round of the NLW Heavyweight championship tournament. Which brings me onto my opponent this week, Scotty Vegas. It couldn’t get any tougher, eh guys? The undefeated hometown hero. While I may disagree with Scotty’s attitude, I respect him as a wrestler and a fighter. I know I’m going to have to fight for everything I get this Wednesday… But more about that later, let’s get on with the show!”
Nicky winks at the camera and spins around, pushing open the creaky cabin door. He discards his empty beer bottle by dropping it on an accumulated pile just inside the entrance. The interior of the small building was sparsely furnished. Sporting the same cracked leather couch as last week, as well as a small kitchen area to the back, decor was at a minimum. Nicky leans down and drags a small canvas sack out from under a heap of clothes. After a little amount of rooting, Nicky produces a parcel wrapped in brown paper and sealed with twine. He leaps to his feet and flicks the package about in his hands, showing the assortment of stamps attached and the address scribbled with black ink.
“We’re gonna mix things up this week, so it’s time for Nicky’s Mailbag!”
“Now this week, I received my first ever parcel from an NLW fan! I was so excited about this, I just had to save it and open it live on the show. So without further ado, let’s open this bad boy!”
Clearly eager to unveil whatever it is that was sent to him, Nicky frantically tears at the carefully wrapped paper and scratches at the twine. The knot on the twine unravels and the paper falls off, revealing a small, rectangular box. He allows the wrappings to drop to the floor before peeling back the tape on the box. With a stern pull, Nicky opens the exterior of the cardboard. He delves his hand in among the protective foam peanuts and pulls out the contents. A bottle. A craft beer bottle more specifically. With a raised eyebrow and frazzled look, Nicky examines the rest of the box, finding an affixed note on the underside. He unfolds it and begins to read it’s scribbled message.
“Dear Nicky… Sign of sportsmanship… Drinking buddies… Let’s meet for a beer… Hmmm, it seems that this parcel is actually from a colleague of mine rather than a fan. I can barely make out the note, because I’m pretty sure this guy was drunk when he wrote it. [Chuckles] The giver of this gift is actually my pal KEG from NLW’s sister franchise Missouri Wrestling Experience. I was hoping to save this news for later, but I might as well announce it now. The reason KEG is sending me beer as a sign of good will is because he, and two other people, will be my opponents at UWL’s WrestleFest III when I compete for the UWL American Heavyweight title. [Pauses with a smile] That’s right, ‘Gnarly’ Nicky Laine gets a big time title shot on the 28th of June when I’m reppin’ No Limits Wrestling on the big stage. It will be contested under fatal four-way rules, with Beck Ramsey, Adam Stryker and KEG being my stern opposition. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves, how about me and KEG catch a beer before High Stakes next week? If I get the better of Scotty this week, I could be celebrating two title opportunities.”
Nicky bends down to a small side table next to his couch. The numerous scratches on the finish of the table reflected the similar state of the couch. Nicky props the top of the beer bottle against the edge of the side table, and pulls it downwards toward the ground. With his second hand, he slaps the top and the bottle cap comes off with a pop, releasing a wisp of cold air from the lip of the bottle. He stands up and drinks a mouthful of the premium brew.
“Why don’t we head outside for the next segment? Rad or Bad!”
Half-skipping, Nicky makes his way out the exit and onto the waterfront. Red dust leaps from under his sole after each step and hangs in the air. He rests himself on a rock, a few feet away from the bank of the lake. The red rock, with brown veins running through it, was flat on top, almost like a sun bed. He leans back, drinking again, and addresses the camera.
“This edition of my favourite part of the show, Rad or Bad, is pretty special this week. What do I mean special you must be asking? Well, it’s special because this week, it’s all about my opponent Wednesday night on Roulette. Consider this Rad or Bad: Scotty Vegas Edition! The reason I’m focussing on my adversary this week is simply because I know he’s the kinda guy that will be listening, and I have plenty to say to him. So let’s begin, where to start, where to start… Why don’t we start with your sleazy entrance Scotty? You all know what I’m talking about, right? What kinda guy makes his way to a wrestling ring pointing at his crotch? Not even an immature teenager would have the disrespect to do this kinda thing. It’s not the attitude that a role model for all the kids in the audience should have. Right now, you’re one of the top guys in the company. People are buying your shirts and looking up to you. And you come up like that? You know, that’s pretty ‘bad’ Scotty.
I know you might have no respect for the fans or your opponent, but I on the other hand, definitely do. I respect your in-ring ability Scotty, and how tough a guy you can be. Watching your match last week, I saw you dispatch a great performer, Johnny Hotness, in record time. I’m man enough to tell you that you’ll push me all the way in the squared circle. So all that being said, The Royal Flush is one ‘rad’ finishing move. I’ll do everything I can legally do to avoid being on the wrong side of it.
[Drains the remainder of the beer in a long gulp] Our contest this Wednesday is the biggest of both our careers. The winner will go on to High Stakes to compete in 2Steps2Glory and maybe a NLW Heavyweight title shot in a Steel the Deal match. This match will decide who gets the chance to hold the biggest prize in Vegas, and all the south-west! I’m sure you’ll do anything to get your hands on that kinda prize money, and I’ll do everything in my power to obtain the honour of being the company’s leading man. We have different motivations, but the same intensity. We both know that this match is going to be ‘rad’ for the NLW fans… But as far as your odds of winning go, they’re gonna be awfully ‘bad’ when I get in my stride.”
Nicky stares into the camera, channelling the sheer seriousness of his words. In this moment, his relaxed attitude is hidden beneath a desire to win. To advance to High Stakes. A blink of an eye later, Nicky’s more familiar facial expression returns.
“Now dudes, I think I need to chill out a little… Sounds like a perfect time to Bust a Move!”
Nicky bends over and begins to slip off his shoes. He tosses them to the ground at the foot of the rock which he is perched on.
“Brothers and sisters, I was sitting out here earlier and thinking… What’s the one problem that lakes have? They’re beautiful, recreational and practical, so what’s missing? You guessed it folks, waves. All this stillness is good in it’s own right, but nothing beats a nice riptide crashing against the shore. All of you know that I like to hit the waters with my ‘board, so why don’t we add some waves to this pool? This is the perfect opportunity for me to debut my finishing manoeuvre, the very appropriately named, The Wave. I want to show you all, including you Scotty Vegas, what I can do when I climb the ropes. When I am daring enough to break the convention of technical wrestling. When I take my in-ring philosophy to a new height. I’m not even going to explain this one dudes, I’ll let it speak for itself.”
Nicky lifts his white tank top off over his head, revealing an impressive physique emerging from beneath a layer of beer fat. He reaches his hands back and unknots his bandana, allowing his hair to spill forward over his eyes. He pushes it back and places his items of clothing aside. Pacing backwards, he points at the lake while smirking at the camera. After a few seconds spent setting himself, Nicky sprints forward and launches himself in the air. Bringing his knees to his chest, Nicky executes an elegant backflip, leaving a glorious shadow against the sun. Straightening first, he hits the surface of the water, breaking it’s mirror-like surface and splashing droplets into the air. Nicky submerges into the lake. Several moments pass before he pokes his head back above water. His damp blond hair sticks to his face. Bouncing a little, Nicky wipes the renegade strands from his eyes and looks up at the camera.
“That my friends, was The Wave. Trust me, when the shockwaves from that hits the other side of this lake, it’s gonna burst the Hoover Dam! And when I hit this on Scotty Vegas come Wednesday, he’ll be lucky if it doesn’t break a rib or two. But for now dudes and dudettes, I’m gonna go chill out with a nice, long swim on the lake. So I’m afraid I have to call this webisode of the raddest show in wrestling to a close. I’ve been your host, ‘Gnarly’ Nicky Laine, this has been the Cabin of Cool, and until next week, remember to go with the flow!”
Nicky smiles at the camera and pauses a moment before turning to swim out across the lake. The camera pans out to show the sun setting over the Hoover Dam. The orange rays dappling off the red canyons and lake’s surface, Nicky Laine the only disturbance splashing in the immaculate landscape.
[Fade to black]